Grief is a misunderstood emotion. Yet, grief is something that we will all experience at some time or other. We will inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce, abandonment or some other loss, the stages of grieving are the same.

There are at least five stages of grief. If we get stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving will not be complete. There can be little or no healing without wading through all five stages. Not everyone goes through the stages at the same pace. The process is different for each person. You cannot force a yourself or anyone else through the stages. Each must go at their own pace, and you may take one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of a healthy process. The grief process is as individual as your DNA. And yet everyone has DNA. That is to say, that though the process varies- everyone must experience at least five stages of grief in order to heal and move on through life.

*The five stages of grief are:

1-Denial- Denial is the stage where we might say something like, "this can't be happening to me". Denial may be acted out by looking for the one whom you have lost in familiar places, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. Denial is the heart’s way of saying, “this is to much to grasp all at once”. There may be little or no crying and no acceptance or even acknowledgment of the loss in this stage.

2-Anger- This is marked by the "why me?" questions (Psalm 88:14). There may be a desire to fight back or get even with the person because of divorce, for death or simply for leaving. Anger toward the deceased or blaming them for leaving is common.

3-Bargaining- Bargaining often takes place before the loss (John 4:47). For example: Attempting to make deals with the person who is leaving is common place. Attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss is also common to the bargaining stage. It may be in the form of begging, wishing or praying for them to come back.

4-Depression- Depression is marked by overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness and self pity (Psalm 102:7). A grieving person may find themselves mourning loss of person as well as hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Depression often brings feelings of that life is out of control or numbness (Psalm 119:25). Depression is part of the grief process however dark depression is a sense of despair unto death. Thoughts of suicide should be cause to immediately reach out for help.    

5-Acceptance- Acceptance is where we want to arrive. There is a difference between resignation and acceptance. Acceptance is a sense of peace in amidst the trouble (John 14:27). You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, overdose or poor judgment the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth (Romans 8:28). Stay with fond memories of person. Get help. You will survive. You will heal, even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can't stop living. We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding love and/or happiness again. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to facilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic.

1. Find people to share with.

2. Pray- tell God how you feel.

3. Do not with draw.

4. Worship.